I’ve discovered a new symptom to aging – my ability to drink is abandoning me. We threw a party on Saturday night and it’s now Monday – two days later I’m still suffering. There was a time when . . . well anyway, who cares?
In the meantime, this arrived via e-mail.
SYMPTOMS OF BEING OVER 25
1. You leave clubs before the end to ‘beat the rush’. (worse still you don’t go to the clubs)
2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing the night before.
3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer / basketball player and start dreaming of having a son who might instead.
4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property
section. MyHome.ie and Daft.ie are your favourite websites.
5. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.
6. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.
7. Rather than throw a knackered pair of runners out, you keep them because they’ll be alright for around the house jobs.
8. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.
9. When visiting home for the weekend, you head to the local pub/nightclub and ar genuinely shocked to see people you can remember being born or have babysat make up half of the pubs/clubs patrons.
10. You worry about your parents’ health.
11. Your parents start to have a life of their own and go on more holidays/social events than you do.
12 . You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
13. You actually start to pay off the balance on your credit card as it falls due.
14. You don’t get funny looks when you buy a Disney video as the sales assistant assumes they are for your children. You are buying these things for your friend’s child.
15. Pop music all starts to sound the same and you haven’t a baldy who or what th latest pop sensations or boy bands are.
16. Oxegen is waaay too young. Electric Picnic is the way forward, far less packed and a lot more comfort. Comfort is now important.
15.On a long night out, you opt for Milanos over a quick take away because they do a really nice half-bottle of house red.
16. You always have enough milk and toilet paper in, and your house is always relatively clean and tidy.
17 . To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go clubbing, you instead frequent trendy bars and restaurants in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.
18 . While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon RTE’s Would You Believe. You get drawn in. You remember being there when events are shown on Reeling Back the Years.
19 . The benefits of a pension scheme become clear. You pay for your own VHI.
20. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from Woodies .
21 . You wish you had a shed.
22 . You have a shed.
23. You start considering doing stuff because its good for you, like eating healthily and walking places for the sake of walking not just to get from A to B.
24 . You actually find yourself saying ‘They don’t make ’em like that anymore’ and ‘I remember when there were only 2 TV channels’ and ‘Not in my day….’
25 . Pat Kenny has some really interesting guests on the Late Late and you conside texting in a comment. ( FYI If you actually do, then you should be ticking the 40-50 age category).
26 . Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus, you tut at rowdy school children.
27. You find yourself having discussions with your friends that when we were young, before all this Celtic Tiger lark we actually appreciated when we were given things from our parents and indeed we worked for what we got….while the young ones these days haven’t a clue. (You really believe this).
28. Going to 21st’s is a distant memory and if you do have to go to one its an irritation, in fact, your social calendar is taken up with 30th’s, Weddings and Christenings.
29 You chose pubs where you can get a “nice seat for the night” over packed loud places.
30. Girls start to see the benefit of bringing a spare pair of flats in their handbag for the end of the night for sore feet. Barefoot walking on the path is now insane!
31 . You find yourself saying ‘is it cold in here or is it just me
32 . You understand the above and forward it to your fellow aging friends.